Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
