So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
