Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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