is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
