Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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