With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
