Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
