So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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