her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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