I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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