I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
The adults are the big ones right?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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