KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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