i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
