white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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