just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
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