you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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