You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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