She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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