I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
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