I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
