I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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