Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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