she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
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