I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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