So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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