What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
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