Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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