I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
