just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I showed him my bush... on skype.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Randomize
