pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
