It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Randomize
