wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
