I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
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If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
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I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
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