porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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