it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
