I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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