also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
