But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
