next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize