Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
