i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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