just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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