I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
