I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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