Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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