I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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