No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
4 words: hood of his car
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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