Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
