I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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