Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
