4 words: hood of his car
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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