Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
