This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize