Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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