I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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