one two three fourrrrnication!
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
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