nut hugger
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
