Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
