ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Small penises have feelings too.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
wow bdsm is so cute
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