Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
