u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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