yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
